#btw i had no idea you had a tumblr is this even alive

[evadingreallife]

@gigguk you just had to say tumblr was dead didnt you, the surprise omegaverse anime was just karma doing its job now ahsksbskshsksl

[graceofagodswrath]

Ok ok ok your "Humans of Transformers franchise are space orcs" rant is out of this world.

I detest with passion when humans are reduced to pets and plot devices when instead the story could be about two alien species finding one another equally amazing/terrifying for their own respective reasons.

Here is my question: do humans and Cybertronians see how eerily similar they are? They have love of music, familial relationships, similar urban infrastructure, societal structure, financial systems, competitive entertainment, organized societies and war, colonialism, recreational intercourse, marriage...

Not to mention, why was it never addressed how similar both species look: bipedal, waists, noses, cheekbones, 5 fingers, chins, facial expressions and sense of aesthetics and beauty? Sure, humans have hair but in rather strategic places.

Veins and wires, blood and energon, metal and flesh, nanobytes and blood cells, Sparks and brain impulses, sexual organs...

Imagine Autobots arrive on Earth for the first time expecting some primitive cave-dwellers, only to encounter a less advanced mini-version of Cybertronian cities (New York, Singapore, London, Rome, Tokyo, Rio, Dubai...) and societies running on scientific, artistic and philosophical development which has no right existing on the ruthless, all-organic planet such as Earth is. Societes run by creatures who 4.000.000 (the duration of their war) years ago were hanging from the trees btw.

Autobots would be terrified.

Lemme make sure this response saves this time, cause it took me a minute to answer cause my first deleted and I had so much written I got unbelievably angry and refused to even look at the tumblr app.

But here we are.

So, this is EXACTLY what I have been thinking about for who k owe how long. It’s also the intro to this wack as fuck universe idea I’ve had in my head a while, and have kinda hinted at in my other works, but I’ve never gone into detail about.

And I still won’t.

Anyways, yes. It’s crazy that we backlit humans so much when any other sentient species is about. Transformers, TMNT, etc (I’m on a one track mind, feel free to jot down any other fandoms I can’t think of). The main theme of these stories? HUMANS SUCK. And that is severely unfair. People want to cry about how much our generation doesn’t give a shit anymore. Have you SEEN the media we feed kids???

That’s why I live Humans are Space Orcs so much. It really puts into perspective how unique and batshit our species is.

So, onto the Transformers vs humans concepts. The ONLY reason (forgoing technoism and general hate towards organics) cybertronians don’t see humanity as an imminent threat, or one in general, is because of size. WE BE SMALL AF. Can’t blame them, I get it. We do the same. Insects? Fuck them mfs.

But have you seen a botfly or tick burrow into your skin? The infection that comes form that? Have you seen ants jump a small animal as a colony and absolutely shred it? Or a spider only biting you, and the horror the venom causes (recluses and huntsman’s specifically). We have a good fucking reason for disliking these mfs.

But transformers? These are organic experiences. Worst they go through are rust infections, spark death, the works. They are not at risk the same way we are. That is why they view organics as small and inconsequential. They have no idea how hard we fight to simply stay alive.

And now the similarities. It’s understandable that they wouldn’t immediately recognize the physical, cultural, and psychological similarities between our species. Transformers are an incredibly diverse race, like any other. But specifically in physical form. Your average cybertronian holds a similar appearance to your average human. We tend to have the same features, just with different names. Eyes, noses, faceplates, ears, two arms, two legs. Sure that’s average for them too. But they are unique because of the fact that they have two forms. Vehicle mode. Their mode decides what they’re second mode looks like, which can create extreme diversity is appearance. Small, large, many limbed or not.

So the immediate similarities probably wouldn’t jump out to them in an odd way. There’s also the idea that because they’re so spread out in the universe, they’ve seen other organic races that are also similar. Pairs of every body part could be the common denominator among species.

That goes culturally too. War, love, music, government, politics, it’s all a natural form of sentient evolution. Another common denominator. It’s how it’s done that makes it unique. And the similarities between human and cybertronian culture is uncomfortably familiar.

I think that’s why cybertronians are seen being closest with humans rather than other species in the shows and comics (obviously because the audience is human and they need relation to characters but shhhh forget that for a sec). This is where the theories start.

Let’s say cybertronians begin to recognize the weird similarities between our species. The really, really weird stuff. The itty bitty details. Like:

- how we also mainstream kissing on the lips as the top tier romantic gesture.

- use verbal tone and cues for our language.

- have intensely complicated interpersonal relationships in the exact same manner.

- suffer from extreme mental health issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD (I totally headcannon that forms of adhd, autism, and ocd exist in cybertronian society, have y’all not seen my boy rodimus prime??)

- will also destroy each other in the name of our gods, until we have a common enemy.

That’s just the basics I could come up with. The only time I actually saw a moment where a transformer genuinely take a moment to realize that humans can be a threat, was in transformers prime. Episode 6 of beast wars (I think, correct me if wrong), where Miko beats the ever loving fuck out of an insecticon (I think) and upon Megatron hearing this, just goes blank Kubrick stare for a hot second. Man had an ugly realization that did not fit in with anything he had experienced his whole life.

AND THEY NEVER FUCKING ADDRESSED IT EVER AGAIN. Sick of this shit. Could’ve had the most badass character development, where the humans actually proved useful and did something (it would have fit Milo’s character so perfectly too) and scared the utter shit out of the transformers. BUT NO. They continue to be annoying as fuck.

One thing I loved about TF Prime was that it canonically turned Unicron into Earth. And humans came from the earth. Which relates humans beings and cybertronians so hard. Cousins Fr. We are the cybertronian equivalent of organics, and transformers the inorganic equivalent of humans. The individuality, the chaos, the culture, it clicks. There is so much material to really go into it.

But they never do. Don’t get me wrong, I love Transformers lord and just discovering more without humans being involved. We’re just annoying af at this point. But there is so much u tapped potential in transformers actually taking the chance to LEARN about us. But we’re just friends (pets) to these mfs.

That’s why I love TF Earthspark so far. Transformers ingrained into human culture because they’re not from Cybertron, and cybertronians having to adapt to human culture because they have no where else to go. Granted, it’s a kids show. There’s only so much they can do. But I’m excited for where it’ll lead. It really shows how much of threat and ally humans are, and how we are just as diverse as cybertronians.

I need to write another fic about cybertronians meeting humans their size from our world tho. Need to continue my old piece. Would give me so much life. Y’all help motivate me, college draining my ass.

[1moreff-creator]

I remember you saying that Tsuno and Okazaki are your favorites from Tetro. How are you feeling, FF :3

Spoilers for TDRP CH3. CW: Murder, Okazaki.

I, for one, am feeling delighted on one hand and kinda sad on the other, as you can probably imagine! I can’t be too upset though, since I’m used to my favorites dying in general, but in Tetro especially. Sasaki was my favorite in CH1. Oka and Chiba competed for my favorite status in CH2. And now Oka and Tsuno were my favorites in CH3. I haven’t decided who is my favorite of the people still alive, but Hiroaki, Tamba and Yanagi are on thin ice (pun intended for Yanagi).

In particular, I’m not upset at all about Oka’s death. I think you put it best in some of your posts: she wasn’t gonna last forever, so I just wanted her to go out with a bang, and she went out with the equivalent of a nuclear blast. Her supervillain reveal is probably my favorite scene in all of Tetro, I can’t immediately think of any other that matches up to it in my books. Just completely unhinged behavior after what was probably my favorite trial so far, which is impressive given the whole “CH3 curse” canon dangan usually had.

She was just extremely entertaining, what can I say? Her insults, her taunts, her crazy beef with Tsuno, everyone’s reactions, all simply peak. And I know this might seem like a weird thing to focus on, but her background music is lovely. One of my main gripes with the Tetro format (and this is just personal preference, don’t take it as criticism because it isn’t) is the lack of bg music, so of course I’m glad my fave gets her own theme. Monarch shit.

And, come on. How often is it that both of your favorites have a storyline connection as peculiar as the whole “nemesis” thing these two had going on? Like, it’s genuinely awesome, and the fact that it’s completely one-sided just makes it better! I kinda wish we could have seen Tsuno’s reaction to this, because holy hell. How would you even react to this???

Oh, and the Watari thing. I’ve always been a sucker for terribly evil characters who have a soft spot for a nice person. Watari’s despair while Oka’s having the time of her life is genuinely awesome, and Oka clearly liking the time she spent with Watari is fun.

I do feel like I’m missing stuff, though? Like, I‘ve seen some analysis in Tumblr about Oka’s backstory which I assume is revealed in Staffside, because I have no idea what these people are talking about but it sounds cool. I really- I gotta read Staffside, I think, it’s getting critical by now.

Oh yeah, btw. Oka’s Yonekura’s kid! Since I haven’t read Staffside, that only tells me something about Dr Yonekura and not so much Oka. I will thank Oka for Dr Yonekura dropping one of my favorite lines in Tetro, though. “[Does your daughter have] Any special skills?” is crazy.

That said, I am slightly upset that Tsuno died when she did. I wanted to see her crash out after learning Oka beat up Wada! I would have loved to see her react to Oka’s made up beef with her! I wanted to see her crumble and burn out even more than she already was! I would have loved for her to outlive Wada just to see her reaction! I am a normal person with normal desires of seeing my favorites suffer horrendously!!! But oh well, fangans gonna fangan, I guess. Can’t be too torn up about it. At least Oka’s beef with her remains legendary.

I also feel like I should at least mention Kamimura? It’s funny ‘cuz like. He’s just There. He ain’t got nothing to do with the most toxic one-sided ship in history, he kinda just got caught in the crossfire. I feel like his death here makes sense, though; he had his arcs, he had his development and stuff, and now we get to see Hasegawa crash out for up to 3 chapters which is awesome! Assuming a standard DR formula, of course.

Anyways, thanks for the ask! I really should probably post more about Tetro, so this gives me an excuse lol :v

[crooked-wasteland]

I just saw your essay on the codependency of FizzOzzie and it cleared up a lot of things I've been thinking about this ship and to be honest, I myself thought it was the most healthiest ship in the whole show even better than the trash that Stoliz is but well... (btw, I was trying to scroll through tumblr to find it but can you just link it for me so I coud read it again)?

It also brings me to an idea of the possibility brung up in two fics each with different ideas:

#1 if Hazbin's events every leak in Helluva's since they're the same universe, there's a possibility that Lucifer would want to have precautionary heirs for the defense of Hell and outright force Ozzie and any other relationships with lowerclass apart since it's "not compatible with angelic DNA" or some thing, so Ozzie could in fact leave Fizz because of his status

#2 Ozzie getting tired of Fizz... Ozzie is the sin of Lust after all and Lust can be ever-changing and capricious in its nature as a sin. Ozzie’s character, embodying Lust, might lead to a fluctuating commitment level, influencing his interactions and relationships. In biblical lore, he did end up causing a lot of sinful things like fucking a human named Sarah or so I remember?

Again this is the same guy who humiliated Blitzø in Ozzie, S2 just rewrote him completely (btw, in my rewrite I'mma change him to be more evil and instead give the whole "lovey-dovey Sin" idea to Satan who is female and thinks Asmodeu's "fake-love" is like a slap in the fact to her idea of realistic and true romance)

I'd just feel like Fizz would be better off with Blitzø tbh or Striker or all in a threesome... the possibilities are endless, and why is the show making love seem too fairytale and unrealistic?! Like Blitzø shouldn't have to fuck Stolas just because he was his arranged playmate for just one day??? The show did the childhood friends trope dirty and would be better if Stoliz was a thing until mid-teens broke up for [insert reason] and reconnect but honestly, Stolas should've had his own seperate season/arc dedicared to himself if HB was an anthology show

Also the fact that Asmodeus couldn't just burn the contract, one-shot the lawyer and go on a rampage to save Fizz is just beyond me... the Sins are supposed to be these scary demon lords so why aren't they, hm?

Sorry for rambling and what do you think or want to add?

Absolutely here you go.

The consistent failure of Vivziepop is to commit to a mature story. She describes her own protagonists as "Deeply flawed but understandably traumatized people who just need love to fix them" while the villains of her shows are "irredeemable" (and women, but that's a tangent).

I mentioned before that trying to use the excuse of the setting being Hell and playing that out to the logical conclusion would end up exactly like Good Omens. The whole moral of said show being that imperfect humanity is worth saving, that life is worthy and beautiful for its own sake of existence. That is why the story of Good Omens uses the Bible, angels, and demons to tell it's story, to make that point.

Why is Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel set in Hell? What is being said by the plot, themes and story? So far we have that demons are better people than the Angels in Hazbin. That sacrifice is the only virtue worthy of redemption and thus reinforces backwards Christian ideals of penance.

Personally, I would have made Hell less absurd. Less a place of debauchery and chaos and more a mere continuation of life. We see in the Hazbin Pilot a character falls from the sky and says "I'm alive?" Before being hot by Travis' car. The point being that people just transition from one life to the next and in that they keep living life the way they always have.

My personal criticisms of the series' use of Hell is that it established this idea that people only behave if they have a god to fear. Once in Hell, there is no salvation, so why bother. It's like a Christian asking an atheist why they wouldn't commit murder if they don't believe in God. The answer is that people like order and security. People dying would seek to maintain their status quo from life. A lack of salvation wouldn't change that for them.

And frankly, I wouldn't have redemption be a thing. This story and its messages are actively devalued by the act of redeeming sinners when the Angels are just the same as them. By having Hell just be a warped continuation of life on Earth, it makes the message more universal: Life is Hell. Life is suffering in a way Hell can never hope to be. Physical anguish and torment for all eternity can never amount to the pain of the fleeting and the terror of change and uncertainty.

I would have made it impossible to be redeemed because the fact is, regardless what you believe happens after death, what we know we have is life. We fear death so much we have created salvation throughout history, the wish to keep living forever in some way. But, especially for young people, life is harder now than ever before. It's more terrifying and uncertain and cruel and uncaring.

So if life is Hell, how do you be happy?

That would have been my thesis for the show. The message underneath is all about finding happiness in the absence of salvation. Even the idea that maybe salvation is something we should reject to really feel what it means to be alive. Giving up on our deaths and seeking our own fulfillment, and in that finding community, love, and hope. To see true humanity as something selfish and kind at the same time.

That's how I would have taken the concept.

[indigo-constellation]

Your changeling!Daniil is amazing. Your Clara Burakh is amazing. Your totally-normal-scientist (who totally didn't do anything like Jack the Ripper and Victor Frankenstein in the capital! only ethically sourced bodies here!) Artemiy is amazing.

Clara as Haruspex is breaking my heart especially! The way you wrote her being friends with the kids - how Artemiy was once with Stakh, Grief and Lara - and how she has a foreboding feeling she won't belong with them once it is all over, because her role is to protect them, not be one of them! Rat man still found a way to be mean my girl 😭 Also she and Grace are so sweet. Wanted to say that Grace's name (Ласка) in Russian has double meaning: 1) weasel (animal); 2) tenderness. Do with that as you will~

Also Daniil (both of them) is so good as a changeling. I loved that quiet moment he had with Clara on the stage, where they say how odd it is to play like that. Love the eyes of the "twins" being what sets them apart, too! Raven feels like he wants to be a bad guy, but can't quite bring himself. Regretful plague that is also a dead man who is alive but only because the sickness is. Snake being so gentle and kind and seemingly having some sort of planning he doesn't fully share even with the reader. Also Daniil speaking Hebrew! I gasped when I realised. It's also a fun contrast to him only speaking in Latin in the game, especially if we still to see him as Jewish. Makes me really want to see how you'd write bachelor!Daniil! Want to take a look inside his head! I know what I shall read next.

Artemiy having a worst imposter syndrome out of all of them because of coming back home where he was supposed to take on his father's role and finding the man who was a founder of a project that could be called Artemiy's life work is comedy gold. Also his little sister literally living the life he refused! 10/10 no notes. Artemiy and his unfun coming-home-to-steppe party! 🥳 Roots, Rain and Reflection is secretly a comedy.

Thank you for writing this amazing role reversal, don't think I will be able to get it out of my head.

tumblr is so annoying bc I had a whole response and then it got deleted roijepigjetiuheoigj let me try to write what I can remember and hopefully do it better

I literally screamed when I read this ask btw thank you so much

the healers in this fic are so incredibly dear to me and I love them so much, I love getting to focus on them, yes Artemy's organs and cadavers as ethically sourced and fresh as he can get them :D

Haruclara truly deserves so much, she doesn't fit into the Termites despite being a kid herself, half because of the way she was raised and half because of the nature of the story and the separation of Healers and Bound. While also having messy connections with the other two Healers. I really wish I could have more Grara but this is primarily p1 focused so the Bound's role is limited (the amount of Yulia/Rubin/Lara/Aspity I had to cut- istg I was so excited to have an Aspity and Artemy interaction on day 6 but it would've been too long) I will keep what you said in mind though! thank you ^^

Changeniil has been so write, he keeps so much of himself hidden, so getting to reveal those small bits of him like in that theatre bit are great. The hands and the eyes being the main things to distinguish the twins Dankovsky is fun because those are two things Pathologic focuses on a lot, though I will say that there might be more later on. The Raven is a miserable wet beast, the idea behind the twins has been that different bits of Daniil are split up, so and what's fun about that is that it's Plagueniil that has the idealism. He's a fucked up guy held together only by spite and disease but he cares so much it hurts him. The Snake is also a creature, truly, he knows his plan, Raven knows his plan (and doesn't like it at all), and I know how it will fail, the narrators being unreliable is such a fun part of patho. I always write Daniil as Jewish (because he is to me lol) but specifically Daniil I think fits with Hebrew because it is a revived language and as a guy who is trying to defeat death I think it would suit him (also revived language and revived Daniil was an intentional choice) I will say though, idk how well my old writing holds up bc my writing got a lot better while writing roleswap so go at your own risk lol

Finally, Bachtemy, a dearly beloved fool <3 he used to have a much bigger conflict with Daniil about Daniil not being who Artemy expected him to be and that being a lot more angsty but then I started writing that scene and it turned out gay so nice. There's a lot about Artemy I'm planning to go into in chapter 7 so look out for that. Artemy is also 100% the character I get to make the funniest, truly the comedian of the cast, I am putting him in the blender as I write this.

thank you again for this!! sorry with inflicting you with the thinking about it curse lol, it's happened to a few people as I've seen and idk how to fix that (I am also infected I cannot stop thinking abt this au) but this long ask really made me so happy to see and I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!

[livvyofthelake]

“this movie doesn’t follow the hero’s journey because his call to action was the first scene of the movie when he meets death and begins their chess game and this is inherently a Bad thing and also i think the protagonist is a flat character because he wasn’t funny” like ok it’s subjective but you’re literally wrong…

men will have the worst opinions you’ve ever heard.

[shiny-jr]

Hello!

NOT AN ASK! Btw, but when I was reading some of your old fics on quotev, (cause it's my favourite thing to read when I want to get comfy 😊) I legitimately thought that you left it for good. Until I checked on Tumblr, and found out you're doing fine.

( Btw , looking forward to "A warrior's path." Update. Hope you didn't forget that chef's kiss of a fic, no pressure though.)

That's all, and thank you for the amazing yandere fics!

Yep, I am still alive, still lurking. I just checked my Quotev account and it is over nine years old, which is SHOCKING. Next year, it will be ten.

Anyways, yeah, I have a lot of OC stories I want to work on but just haven't had the time to do so, and even more new ideas which I actually do not want to work on yet because once I do, I'll forget about the older ones. But yeah, maybe this year I'll actually update my OC stories? Who knows.

[fulloflambing]

just yap about my most recent work (how i made it, the alternate plots or endings), and my future posts :D

writing that story took soooo much brain juice from me i feel like my brain has become a wringed sponge. im honestly rlly proud i managed to finish it😭

ive had writing experience before here on tumblr but i never rlly put alot of effort into it and it often made me feel bad about how i finished my stories. i always just thought about a vague plot, typed away, and posted it. some people enjoyed it n i was grateful for that but whenever id reread my own stories it would make me criticize myself and make me unmotivated to write, which eventually made me delete my old writeblr.

but ever since i've come back, and especially with 'heaven can wait', i rlly took my time to rewrite things i didnt find fitting. ive stopped writing just to post, but writing to actually enjoy and better my skills. im honestly proud of myself for taking the time to do that because i am, truthfully, a very impatient person n i hate redoing things. actually, i rewrote the story by like the 3.5k word mark TWICE and made sure i was truly happy with it. the plot was actually supposed to go two ways!:

kinich would find reader in their home, and they could comfort eachother real quick in the house before kinich escorted them to the survival shelter. kinich would then make a promise to reader to come back alive and boom boom fighting wham he comes back to them and boom emotional reunion!

^ i changed my mind halfway while writing this because i wanted the story to have more depth and to make it more about reader and kinich both experiencing grief and negative emotions more. this plotline was just too lovey dovey and chill for my liking.

2. kinich reunites with the reader in the end by finding her dead asleep in the tribe's infirmary.

^ i didnt like this ending because i felt like it would've been a boring climax to the heavy emotions of reader as she was separated from kinich thinking he was dead. does that make sense? like it felt like a boring way to end off y/n's part after building up all these negative thoughts swirling in their mind just for her not to even see kinich come back from war to have those negative thoughts be swooped away from her in a romantic light. it was cute tho, kinich would've been whispering 'im home' as he admired reader as they recovered but i didnt want a calm ending for the story. i wanted a passionate, emotional reunion type :) like very 'light after the storm'-esque type of ending!

some parts of the story i dont like but i feel like is the part i could do for the story was how mavuika defeated the abyss? i CANT WRITE ACTION FOR SHYT!!!! so it took so much deleting and rewriting and paraphrasing it actually got me a headache just to write that small section 😭😭

on a more exciting note, the next thingy ill write is probably for kinich's birthday! im very torn about what ill write and when ill write it because i have exams right after kinichs bday so i dont think ill have time to write for it.

but after i figure out and post a birthday special for kinich, i'll be writing a more angsty, heartbroken-y story kind of related to 'heaven can wait' but if things went wrong. its really not an alternate ending, more of like "if it ended this way, this would've happened." its been a plot thats been marinating in my head for awhile and i think you guys will rlly like it! its gonna be angst with comfort but still sad ending hihi sorry.

i have alot of canon fanfic ideas that i wna write as soon as possible but i feel like i should switch it up and write some modern!au fics. and maybe with other characters (my other favs! capitano, xiao, thoma, etc.). i also feel like i have to prepare a 100 follower special soon but i have nooo idea what to do for it huhu THANK U BTW GUYS FOR 81 FOLLOWERS AAA IM SO TOUCHED

in short, i have a lot and i mean srsly alot of kinich ideas rn but my schedule is gonna be cramped this week. but after ill be free again! my problem is i just dont know what to write first 😔💔

anyway, maybe ill do a poll or something :) ILL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!!

if you've read this far, thank u sm and i appreciate it >< ill do my best to write as much as i can.

[deedah]

A love letter to Murder Drones

Btw this is just a rambling about how I got into Murder Drones and how it has changed my view of the world, so if you don’t care then don’t read :3

(Also it’s gonna be lengthy and maybe a bit of trauma dump)

I also don’t expect @liamvickersanimation or @glitchproductions to use tumblr, and if they see this I will jump off a cliff lol

So, it started one day when I got the Murder Drones pilot in my recommended on YouTube. Buut I scrolled right passed it cause I didn’t really care about it then. A few nights later, round midnight, I saw the pilot again and caved. I then went to the playlist and watched the first 6 episodes. (This was a month after ep 6 came out)

I did fall in love w/ the style of the show, but I did not understand the plot.

so I watched the show again and again, and even watched theory vids on it. And when I tell you I bawled by eyes out when I watched the show again, got connected to the characters, I bawled by fuckin eyes out when V sacrificed herself.

While watching theories of MD, something clicked in my head and I decided that I wanted to do my own show as well.

but, I suck at creativity and can’t make up new things, just edit already made things. So I decided, if I can’t make my own stories, I would help other people make their stories.

in other words, I wanted to be an animator

after I got my mind in on the fact I wanted to be an animator, I had downloaded many, and I mean many animation apps on my drawing iPad, and tried to 2D animate.

now, I would call myself a shitty artist. I don’t know anatomy and I barely use references too.

so when 2D animation did not work for me, I almost gave up my dream to become an animator, and plus.. I didn’t even know where I wanted to work.

I didn’t want to work for Disney cause I don’t really like their stuff anymore, and dream works kinda fell off too (no offense to any fans of those people, I will respect your opinions)

So I gave up on my dream, and I checked glitch prod. for any new info for MD ep. 7. But, instead of anything Murder Drones a new show was on called The Amazing Digital Circus.

now, I absolutely did not care about some new show, I only wanted Murder drones. Then I caved again and watched TDAC. and I fell in love w/ it as well.

and TDAC brought by dream back up to become an animator. I decided that I wouldn’t work for DreamWorks or Disney,

I would work for Glitch Productions.

now, I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to work for them, but it would be an honor.

then ep. 7 dropped for MD, and I fell in love again with this episode. Especially Flesha. Her movements, her emotions, her flicker design! It was all just perfect!

So I started to look online for ways to become an animator, but not a 2D one.

My mom helped me find a program called Blender.

and yes, I still use Blender to this day

I then started to take lessons from YouTube vids online and once I got the hang of it, I started to look for models that I could pose.

now, I can’t animate good rn cause I have a very shitty laptop that can barely run one model at a time, but I’m still learning.

and then the finale for Murder drones finally comes out. And omfg I have no words

it’s peak perfection

again the characters felt so ALIVE! And FREE!

and it’s what I wanted to do! It’s still is! I want to animate characters that people love and make art or fanfics about.

so.. that’s the point of this “Love letter”

I just wanted to say.. Thank you Liam and Glitch for this amazing show that I and millions of people could be apart of. And I hope I’m able to meet you in person and maybe even work under you one day.

Again.. thank you @liamvickersanimation and @glitchproductions.

you brought be out of my shell and made me into a better person, I owe you a lot.

and with that.. goodnight

-love @deedah

[artthemasquerade]

The Morning Star's Chosen

As Sister Miki Makimura prayed to God and all of Heaven's angels for the strength to banish this Hellish demon only God's former favorite Morning Star and traitor of Heaven answered her prayer and once she agreed to serve him, thinking that he was God or one of his angels, Miki had unknowably aligned herself to Satan and tied herself to him. Satan helped her destroy the demon by gifting her some of his power and would continue to help her deal with any demons and humans that were directly going to harm her since he had wanted to keep her alive and convert her to his side so Akira would stay by him this time. But over time Satan comes to have care and love for Miki for herself taken in by her kindness and genuine desire to protect others, and he's reluctant to truly corrupt her. Miki would come to love her guardian angel and feel some guilt for her growing romantic feelings for him and will be so heart broken when she discovers that the only one who had heard her prayer was the Devil himself and God and his angels were completely silent despite all the suffering mankind was going through. Will she renounce Satan even though she'll lose the powers she's gained in acting in his service and will be a helpless human again in a world slowly turning upside down with humanity turning on itself or will Miki fully accept Satan's offer to become his true chosen and bring over Akira to their side since humanity has proven to be no better than demon kind or can she convince Satan to see that he is wrong about humanity? 

Anyway I was listening to Cirice by Ghost a lot and also had been watching Faith: The Unholy Trinity and had this idea of this AU pop up in my mind so I had to draw it! and also I made a playlist for this AU too! XDD

Btw if you like what you see and want a commission drop me a direct message on tumblr, instagram, a note on deviantart or artistree https://artistree.io/missn11

[porcelainpistol]

Your 32? Wtf? So your a p3d0?

sincerely from the bottom of my heart: fuck you

idk how this is a "wtf" scenario bc i've always had in my bio that i lived through the first wave, as in, i was a scene teen at the time scemo was popular circa 2005-2009. this blog is for my nostalgia and some "was actually there and here's how it actually was" input

as for the accusation, where in the actual fuck would you get that idea??? why would you ever say that to someone just bc they're 32???

oh and btw? if you self-censor a very serious term, you're probably not mature enough to even be using the term. go back to tiktok and get off my lawn. i reckon i've been on tumblr longer than you've been alive

[kaz-rizzveld]

I just wanted to put in my 2 cents with season 4 of The Umbrella Academy.

Disclaimer: no hate please, this is my opinion!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Starting off with the ending.

So what the actual fuck. One time I saw someone say back before the season came out that they did in fact think the show should end with all the siblings dying together and realizing there’s nothing they could do and someone else replied how weak that thinking is and I completely agree. (I believe the person who explained how that was weak was "mortal-song" here on tumblr, btw)

Anyway, if the show creators thought of this choice as another “tragic ending” that should have been written or a lesson that things don’t always end well, I get it from a standpoint of someone who thinks all outcomes should be portrayed in media, I just don’t agree that it was the right direction for this show. It’s literally become nothing more than a trend and people thinking they’re quirky and different by ending things badly with a handful of unexplained plot holes because they think they’re Shakespeare. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re not. 

I also understand the idea that this is not a kids show and deep and sophisticated plot lines will be explored, so there should be no problem ending the show this way, right? Wrong again. I’m sick of the idea that because this show is for adults, that we can, and should, give it a tragic ending to communicate that things don’t always end well, no matter how hard you try and that’s such a dangerous message. I’ve also seen people talk about how the show is about coming together as a family and working through childhood trauma as now grown ass adults and that the final conclusions the characters came to is that “we’re the problem and we should give up and die.” This the complete wrong message on so many levels. The devolution of these complex characters and unnecessary romance storylines is so ridiculous (don’t even get me started on Five and Lila) and, quite frankly, insulting to the actors, but I’ll get into that in a minute.

My overall point is that the message and ending in general is absolutely WEAK. It’s rushed, sloppy, and weak. If we had to keep all of the other batshit crazy plot lines that don’t even make any sense, but ended the show differently, we could’ve ended the show with the characters allowing the world to end and them die because they believed that they would also make it to the next world, another motivating message that could’ve been explored, by the way. They could’ve ended out also alive and well in the fixed timeline, living their lives as regular people and healing together. Them literally dying and being erased from existence making the past three seasons pointless is just. Weak. 

Now onto the actors, especially Aidan because based on interviews, I feel like I relate to him and this is just what I feel I can speak to. !! Now I am not him, I do not know him, and I don’t know how he feels !! but if I played Five Hargreeves, if I grew as an actor playing such a complex character, and if I learned a lot about who I was and who the people around me were through my character and theirs, and then the writers completely changed who he is in so many ways, whether that’s selfishness, self pity, giving up, or being a complete home wrecker, I’d be quite upset. If I was in Aidan’s shoes, I’d be furious. That’s so insulting because he brought your character to life and explored a traumatic story for you and for viewers AND gave an absolutely amazing performance, and you go and do him like that…. That’s honestly just so odd of you and I feel bad for him and his costars for being insulted like that. 

I could talk about Ritu as well because as an actress she watched her co-star and friend grow up, and then you go and make her have a romantic relationship with him. I know they’re actors and it’s their job but that’s literally so odd. This mainly, but also other aspects of her character that I feel was completely different to who she was as a person in the last two seasons, is also very insulting to Ritu. Like just wow.

Some other smaller examples for the other actors:

It’s insulting to Tom that you reduced his character to a literal stripper and over the top golden retriever after he progressed and grew.

It’s insulting to David that you reduced his character to a “father” who isn’t doing his job well and in a highly broken marriage. Not to mention he was against the Lila and Five plot and you went and did it anyway.

It’s insulting to Emmy that she didn’t get to build on and explore a real or complex relationship with the people her character sacrificed everything for in the first place.

It’s insulting to Robert that you developed his character to someone sober and more mature, just to strip it away and reduce him back to season 1 him- someone the others can’t trust or take seriously, whether he’s drinking or a germaphobe, just for giggles. It wasn't funny by the way.

It’s insulting to Aidan that you reduced his character to a blind and selfish boy who betrayed his own brother and gave up on his family when that's literally the opposite of his character.

It’s insulting to Justin that you reduced his character to the monster he was afraid of becoming since the beginning and probably gave him false hope about being able to share a powerful message this season since he was supposed to be the focus.

It’s insulting to Elliot that though he was able to explore his character as a grown individual who stands up for himself to his father, that it was all for nothing, meant nothing in the long run.

It’s insulting to Ritu that her character development also meant nothing and her character was reduced to a messy adulterer and questionable mother.

It’s a bad and weak message to the audience and it’s a bad and weak message to the actors and it’s insulting to them that they had to communicate said message after all of this.

[djinnandtea]

so I got some interest on this post where I tossed out that I wanted to talk more about monster romance and race and gender. it's been really nice to see a few folks are also wanting to hear/talk about it! I'm not prepared to say anything at length [eta: this turned out to be kind of a lie] with any certainty or research to back me up, but I thought I could post a rough outline of sorts of what I'd want to research and explore further, just as a starting point for myself but also a jumping off point if anyone else has any thoughts or resources.

I guess I'll start with gender first. I'm new to the romance genre generally, but I don't think it's a surprise that the genre has always been dominated by discourse around who reads romance and the kind of gender dynamics presented in a lot of conventional romance books (which are generally heterosexual/heteronormative in a lot of problematic ways). I'm thinking of the harlequin romances my mom and grandma used to read, but also of the discussions around colleen hoover's work and then the dark romance sub-genre too.

this means that there's the obvi discussion to be had about content vs. context. who is writing the romance, what informs their writing, what messaging comes through via choices made by the author, as well as by the context the author is writing in. I'm sure if you've been reading romance--even fanfic--for a while, you're well versed in some of these conversations, even if just in a casual way.

after considering romance on a macro level, I think you'd then have to look at some of those more micro sub-genres. where are gender norms accentuated and exaggerated, and to what end? why is dark romance a thing, why do (usually) straight white women want to fantasize about being in that kind of relationship? what's the purpose being met? (this is all asked non-judgmentally, btw, as I also enjoy dark romance.)

and maybe there are folks who would dislike my comparing of monster romance to dark romance, but I do think the two are related, especially based on a lot of posts I've seen since joining this corner of tumblr. I think there's a lot of interest in exploring ideas around control and dominance that dark romance and monster romance provide contained space for. if you watched my YouTube video, I touch on this a little bit more at the end as well.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot re: gender (like all the stories being told about lgbtq+ MCs), but this is just some initial thoughts at the fore of my brain.

as for race...........well. lol.

there's the very surface level question around what percentage of monster romance FMCs are white. I genuinely don't have this answer, and I know there are a lot of nonwhite FMCs too! but I'd be really curious to know the actual numbers here. why? well, bc diversity matters. but also because of the decades long narratives around white women as victims of men of color, and how that narrative has been used to weaponize whiteness and demonize blackness specifically, and non-whiteness more generally.

I am def not saying that all monster MMCs = depictions of non-whiteness, I'm just thinking about the connections between equating non-white people/bodies with monstrosity. I'm thinking of the historical framing of non-white people and communities as sub-human, as savages, as beastly. inhumane. monsters have kinda always been a metaphor for the other, including the non-white other, and I think it'd be naive of us to assume that vestiges of that brand of racism (which is still alive and well) never inform the ways creators engage with monster romance and monsterfucking, consciously AND unconsciously.

I'm also thinking about orientalism. I'm thinking of the exotification and classification of the east. the way westerners invaded the eastern world and began treating the people there like specimens. I'm thinking about how othering and abjecting and exotifying a culture or community or person can create a power-informed version of sexualizing that culture or community or person. like, othering/abjecting/exotifying can lead to creating a perverted sort of desiring. I have a special interest here because I'm arab, so this stuff feels particularly personal, but yeah. it makes my wheels turn.

there's also a dehumanizing element of turning an othered body into a piece of sexual meat. I'm thinking about the way monsters in these books are always excessive, the way their penises are always massive. we can't pretend that doesn't seem a little familiar to the degrading ways white people have also discussed black bodies, too. like. I'm not saying wanting our monsters to have big dicks is racist, I'm just saying there are some aspects of the genre that I think deserve to be ~unpacked~ and considered in a wider context that takes this kind of stuff into account. not as a confirmed given, but as an avenue worth approaching with curiosity, if only to point out the ways in which it's NOT a product of racism/anti-blackness.

obvi this post is not backed up at present with a single source because I'm just thinking out loud based on stuff I've read previously over the years that I definitely would need to revisit, so I totally get if you read this and think I'm being ridiculous. but if you saw my first post and were kinda wondering what I had in mind when making it, this is it.

[heartberrydog]

do you think soukoku would have cannibalistic fantasies. I think this one would primarily concern dazai, he would get extremely in his head sometimes and think about how chuuya would eat him...what would he cook first, how exactly he would cook him...maybe even fantasize about chuuya eating him alive, straight up biting to the bone. he isn't completely sure how strong chuuya's jaw is but he likes to imagine it would be relatively easy for him.

maybe it even gets extremely psychological, about how he would be to use of chuuya and how chuuya wouldn't be able to help himself but consume him. how he hopes his body at least will taste good, bring satisfaction to him...be good at that and dazai isn't capable of being completely good to someone. maybe only half-good, but he couldn't help it but be a pain. both intentionally and unintentionally, being a burden and hard to love.

dazai sees chuuya eat steak in a restraunt chuuya brings him in on a whim and that steak is rare and chuuya bites down with a vigor and chews a broad chunk of meat so easily with his big sharp teeth /maybe dazai's imagination is exaggerating some things. or maybe it doesn't/ and dazai can't help but stare and think about how it would be like if it was him on that plate. chuuya maybe gets a little bit flustered, not understanding right away what dazai is so focused on. comes up with a new insult? and dazai is probably wishing that they could be alone and he could get chuuya to pounce him.

chuuya is not very deep in things like this, he fantasizes of hurting dazai /of killing him/ but he doesn't really thinks of it in terms of biting down and eating him, alive or not.

but I think chuuya sometimes gets love agression...when he sees dazai being content with himself and enjoying something or being beautiful or cute he would sometimes get the urge to bite him. he doesn't really thinks of it. or when they have sex and he sees broad expances of dazai's skin that aren't usually available for being seen. when he sees dazai being vulnerable... he thinks about digging his hands inside and eating up his flesh and organs and his heart beating behind his ribcage. it's not a compleyely concious, controlled thought, it's an urge...urge that chuuya sates by biting up dazai's neck and thighs and sides and shoulders. for some reason dazai seems to be greatly enjoying himself.

This is the most INSANE ask I have ever received.

And also the best one.

Hi, hello!! I love you!!!!!! ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )

If this ask is a marriage proposal: I accept, btw. We shall have a spring wedding 💕

OKAY SO. In all seriousness. I was considering keeping this ask to myself some more like a little treasure hoarding gremlin. But I don’t think there’s any better way to love words than responding to them, so here we are.

First of all, I think the best way to start this is sharing some of my post drafts from my main tumblr that I made before this account was created. I do think I had half the mind of moving them here, at some point.

As you can see. I am also normal 🫶

For me personally, BIG emphasis on Dazai fantasizing about Chuuya eating him alive. Cooking is too… civilized. Too human, funnily enough. I think Dazai would really like the idea of being eaten like Chuuya is starving for him, like he can’t even wait to meticulously cut his body up and cook it, and would just rip chunks of flesh with his own teeth, like a wild predator.

I really think he’d go insane with that thought, honestly. On a psychological level especially, yes. With how much he loathes his body, he’d find so much appeal in the idea of it finally being good for something. He likes that it’s good for Chuuya to beat up, he likes that it’s good for Chuuya to fuck, he’d like it being good for Chuuya to eat. And especially so if Chuuya acts like he wants to, like he appreciates having Dazai’s body like that, on a platter for him.

You are actually SO insane for that idea pls I am going CRAZY and MAD. I need to write that now. Dazai being horny about Chuuya eating meat. UGHAKANSSKHSKSHE YOU’RE A GENIUS ILYY <3 I will definitely, definitely write that sometime. Actually going FERAL.

YESYEYSYSYEUDGEUSV YOU GET IT!!!!! YOU GET ITT!! Chuuya loves violently. Even if he tries to stop it, even if he shoves that down like every other violent urge, he still does. It is the most honest version of him, and he barely has the chance to let it show. But Dazai drags that out of him all the fucking time. This is kind of what “The Awful Edges Where You End And I Begin” is about. Whenever I talk about that fic I literally call it “the cannibalism fic” because the entire premise that started it is that I wanted to write something where Chuuya has some really fucking gruesome thoughts about Dazai... They border between anger and affection. He wants to tear Dazai apart and bite and eat him the way he does partially because Dazai really pissed him off, yes, but also partially because he loves Dazai in this inexplicable way, because Dazai loves and reveres his violence in return. Because Dazai would let him. Because Dazai would want him to. Because Dazai seeks out those buried parts of Chuuya like he, too, is starved. Because Chuuya can be as aggressive as he wants around Dazai, and he knows Dazai will not only tolerate, but love him like that. Because Dazai’s love and fascination for his violence amplify it.

Still, his only healthy-ish outlet for that—for their bodies merging, for getting to taste Dazai in a way that is nothing but primal and preditorial—is having sex with him in every way available. That’s why that fic circles through basically all the ways to sexually touch someone, because they need to touch in every way. It’s why Chuuya’s hunger isn’t even close to satiated after a single orgasm, he needs to have Dazai in every way possible, to bite his skin over and over and over, to taste and fuck Dazai until his body doesn’t know anything else.

Ahsksjsk that spiraled. Point is: YES. Chuuya absolutely fucking does. And that idea with the restaurant has me on my KNEES. Good lord. Everyday I am glad I made this sideblog 🙏

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!!!!!!! o( > ᗜ < )o ₊˚⊹♡

[raevenlywrites]

Todays listen of the Magnus Archives starts with ep 116: the Show Must Go On and continues through 117: Testament, 118: Masquerade, 119: stranger and stranger, and finally 120: Eye Contact

The Show Must Go On

Oh fuck, Elias doing something active? Perish the thought

-

Oh. oh no. this is the stranger's ritual, isn't it? the turk is wearing the gorilla skin, the automata are the dancers and the birds are the choir

Okay. So... the Slaughter came to stop it, along with the Desolation? I'll admit it's hard to make much sense out of the nonsense of the ritual almost completed

-

"When the unknowing begins i don't want to be inside it" is there another option?

-

"An aspect of your becoming" becoming? that doesn't sound safe, sane, or consensual...

"so you have a backup" says basira, the one I actually think might be the best backup

"melaine's not coming either, I think she'll need you here" oh shit, are martin and melaine going to kill elias?

-

"bought it" well shit

Testament

ooooh like last will and. gotcha

(I do really love how all these titles make multiple kinds of sense. so jealous of their ability to title things XD)

oh shit they got gertrude AND leitner???! fuck

-

"How did I wind up having to save the world" fucking mood girl

-

Melaine! you're alive! I've been getting worried about you

well shit. I guess they're not trying to *kill* him. Doesn't meant melaine won't got for it anyways tho :P

man, it's a shame there's nothing out there feeding on anger, bc melaine would be an absolute *feast*

martin! my baby boy <3

(I do feel pretty confident I'd love him even without the tumblr of it all. he's a good bean)

bless! I love how aware martin is of what jon might think of him. it's cute

"I get to burn some stuff so that's cool" martin! what are you up to???

-

daisy wtf? XD

-

oooh, interesting that everyone else is talkign to jon but Tim has a massive hate on for us (or whatever in world listener there is)

wow. tim is really the most audience addressy/meta of them all. that's really interesting comign from such a joker to start with. i wonder how much of his arc was planned from the start

-

oh jon. i'm sorry. you have to burn it. you promised. this is an important moment about who you're going to be

jesus. is it literally hurting him to destroy knowledge? fuck

The Masquerade

Holy shit martin are you burning statements!!!! does that hurt elias like burning gerry hurt jon?

(I wonder if the ones he's choosing matters. hilltop road, smerk passages, monster pig, hrm)

"Turns out my suggestion is fire" XDXDXDXD

(the dark and teh swartzwald)

-

oh. oh god. a chorus of skinless moaning ...corpses? ick. so much ick.

-

oh martin :(

(this section is where I had to stop listening at work, btw. I got caught up in thinking about what Elias would show me and uh, yeah)

-

Oh shit! Did Daisy just shoot jon????? ...will it even matter? he's... becoming, whatever that means

Stranger and Stranger

Oh fuck, did Helen come rescue Jon into the spiral- oof, nope. That's not Helen, doesn't sound right. Doesn't sound like Nicola either though - and it CERTAINLY doesn't sound like fucking Tim >:(

oh shit. we definitely don't want whoever that is to have the detonator...

-

and that's NOT basira. ...honestly, if its anyone, it sounds like Breekon/Hope...

-

shit. okay. that's tim and basira, or at least that's their VA's

No, I think that one actually is basira. I stand by my idea that she's been in archivist training, whether on purpose or not

-

ooooh now THATS nicola!

oh no! and THATS gertrude- oh, right, they have her skin. oh no. which means leitner is probably just around the corner

(poor jonny sims, having to listen to his parents tell him he failed and he sucks XD)

-

damn. i wonder if basira has any experience with like, normal delusions (...are there normal delusions in this world? like, just normal, actual schizophrenia? or is it all supernatural?) anyways she's doing great. If I didn't know Jon survived to get to the Jon/Martin ending, I'd wonder if we weren't teeing up Basira to be the next Archivist

-

tim! you see jon? good job tim!!

Okay. So. Daisy is the Hunt, Basira is the Eye, Tim is... channeling something. Maybe all that time he spent studying Smerk? The Spiral isn't enjoying being Helen, Sarah is not enjoying this transition, and Nikola, wearing Gertrude and Leitner... just got blown up?

Eye Contact

These punnnnnns

"Statement of Elias Bouchard, regarding the dreams of Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, currently unresponsive. Details pulled directly from subject." ....well fuck me

Jon... oh jon, what happened to you?

"nowhere for him to awaken to" shit, did the world end? will the last two seasons be in a broken world?

...has he been cut off from the world, or the world cut off from the other fears?

-

ooooh, arresting him. I guess that makes sense

-

lukas? what is he doing here---- oh fuck. when he was asking martin about how elias was as a boss, was he *planning* a take over????

*sigh* of course elias planned it

-

whelp. that's season 3. doesnt' sound like the world ended, but doesn't sound like jon is okay. it sounds like he's exactly where elias thinks he needs to be, but who knows if that's a good thing or not *sigh*

so. elias is probably trying to usher in the Eye's ritual. Using jon, i'd guess. maybe jon is beholding the other fears so the eye can eat them. who knows.

this season was exhausting. good, bu exhausting. much more emotionally taxing than 1 or 2. I can't decide if I want to take another break or not. we'll see

[lumineescente]

Seungjin drabble (slowtober challenge)

hii im doing a thing called slowtober (made by @/oeildesaturne on instagram, french speaking folks check it out!! although be aware of tw mental health and eds talks) and i'm posting on twitter a seungjin au per word

I'm late in the updating on tumblr but for the sixth days (october 16th - 18th) the word was "phobia"

I thought for sooo long and then decided to go for something light hearted and fun

So here is my vampire Kim Seungmin and his blood phobia meeting broke med student Hwang Hyunjin

For the tags well blood vampires and past 2min mentioned

Still no betaing to this and oh yeah this was my first time ever writing about vampires I usually hatee vampires story but maybe i'm growing up

AND if you enjoyed this challenge who is now over you can vote on this form for your favorite that I'll be writing into a full fic on ao3! ("soumettre" is "submit" btw)

if you want to check all the drabbles you can go here

Kim Seungmin is in front of a very annoying and ridiculous dilemma. And all of that is linked to the pathetic fact that he is starving.

Everything is Lee Minho’s fault, to be honest. For decades actually, everything has been his fault, because Seungmin would have never been starving, pacing in front of the back entrance of a hospital if it had not been for Minho’s fault. He is starving because he has been pushing that moment for days now. Maybe at some point hunger will take over his phobia of blood and he will just jump on the first person that goes by. Or he will die of starvation. Like he could die. Fuck Minho.

Usually Minho would concede his part of responsibility in all this situation, and he would be the one to deal with the whole starving part but right now Minho has a new boy toy and has disappeared. Seungmin knows very well how all this will end up because he has been Minho’s boy toy at some point, a very long time ago, a century ago and sometimes he feels like throwing up when he thinks about it. Sure it was great at the beginning, but then it was not and Seungmin was stuck.

Stuck in the body of a twenty five year old, stuck between the eternal dilemma of drinking people’s blood or fading away in slumber in a dark place, preferably a coffin. And both sucks because Seungmin has always had a very deep phobia of blood and now he is eternally being confronted by him. Why was his twenty five years old self so damn stupid?

He feels sick, as much as he can in his vampire form at least. His body weakens and even in the night time he feels like the public lightning is hurting him, he has trouble focusing on his vision and his head hurts so much it gives him dizziness. Fuck.

It could be very easy actually, he could find one random person and suck their blood out, and all the symptoms will be gone and he will be fine to go for a few weeks again, but his phobia is just plain stupid. The idea of drinking blood out of someone makes him feel even sicker, it paralyzes him. It is probably due to the fact that he can feel the person alive, the pulsing of their blood in their artery, and the warmness of it and the body, yeah, he can not do that. He can drink out of blood pocket, the one thing Minho promised he would always make up for. Seungmin will make sure Minho will never see the end of this.

Minho did leave some indications on how he gets the blood pockets usually, the hospital he goes to and how he gets in it but contrary to Minho, Seungmin has a conscience and maybe a faint reminder of a soul. Or maybe Seungmin has not been a vampire for long enough (just a few decades, not even a century). Anyway, he is not strong enough to do all this and now he is thinking about all the humans that could die because of him stealing some blood.

Seungmin takes a moment to realize that his canines are puncturing his lower lips, blood drips out of it. His senses are all over the place now. He does not hear the door opening, but he hears the pulse of blood running in a human body and the sound of his heart beating, it makes him crave with thirst and hunger and disgusts him at the same time, chills going down his spine. He does not control it when he jumps on the poor person that has just gotten out of the hospital.

The person screams when they both fall down the floor and he only hears them like their voices are an echo because all he hears is the blood. There is no control left in his own body, just hearing himself at the very back of his mind crying because he hates it so much, hates losing any kind of control, hates hearing blood like that, but there is nothing he can do about that.

As he can see himself getting closer and closer to that poor person throat, himself is experimenting an outer body experience, he hears the person scream and he feels them fight back the weight over them, helplessly because even running out on his last forces he is still stronger and faster than this human person could ever be.

"Please don't do that," the person implores under him, "Lee Minho sent me here!"

The name acts like an electro shock for Seungmin although he does not let go of his grip, because damn this human smells so delicious and he is so hungry he cant think, and his fangs are out. However his vision refocuses a little and he sees behind him a young boy, probably around his age (when he got turned.. at least), with black hair tied on a bun on his head, a medical white coat and a terrorising expression on his face. Seungmin feels so bad and so hungry, it feels like he is going insane.

"What?" He stutters.

It is ridiculous how hard it is to speak like that.

"Lee Minho?" The person says again, "if you let go of me I promise I got the... thing you're looking for."

It takes everything, absolutely everything in Seungmin to be able to do as said, but he still manages to get off them. Very quickly they crawl away from him, it still feels very bitter to be the reason of someone's else fear, Seungmin thinks. The person searches in their lab coat pocket and then takes something out of it. Seungmin recognises the blood pockets that Minho usually stock in their fridge.

"Please dont bite me," the person whispers, handing out the blood pockets.

Seungmin considers them still on the ground in front of him, curled up over themselves only their arm extending. They are looking at him with pleading eyes. He takes a step forward and they curl up even more, he sighs and very quickly takes the blood pockets. He does not even bother and bites into the plastic immediately.

He lets out a content sigh when he feels finally the energy coming back in his body and the fog in his brain finally lifting up. Once he is done with the first pocket he gets back to his senses and suddenly realises that the person he had just attacked is still staring at him in the exact same position as before.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

He feels ashamed of himself now. He does not know this person at all and he probably just gave them the worst fear of their life.

"Its okay," they answer although nothing in voice sounds like they are okay, "Minho warned me it could happen."

Seungmin rolls his eyes.

"You do that often?" He wonders.

"Only for Minho."

Seungmin swallows down the amount of inappropriate questions he has in his mind, although he is almost sure Minho's current boy toy's name is Jisung.

"He gives me money," he adds quickly.

"That's... okay?"

"I just didnt want you to assume stuff. He flirts a lot but it's not like that."

Seungmin stares. He can hear their heart beating faster.

"Okay," he says again.

He also notes that the stranger is very cute. Scrap that brain, he pesters at himself. The person stands up suddenly.

"I gotta go back to work."

Seungmin stops sipping on his blood pocket, "you work here?"

"Yeah, how do you think I get these?"

"But..."

They shrug, "I need the money. And you need food or else you'll do exactly what you just did to me. And its fucking scary."

"Right. Thanks."

"I'm Hyunjin by the way."

"Seungmin," he stutters.

"Well.. so, maybe I'll see you around?"

Seungmin is not sure exactly what this question involves exactly but it makes him smile slightly, "yeah. Sure."

Hyunjin smiles and waves him goodbye and goes back inside the hospital.

Maybe, just maybe, Seungmin does not hate Minho as much as usual today.